“Don’t
wait for people to be friendly. Show them how.”
We
don’t live close to each other, so grabbing a coffee or just walk in the street
isn’t an option. But really connecting with her/him, sharing pieces of my life
and receiving the pieces she/he wants to give, doesn’t require specific
geography. As we, shared stories, and laughed over private jokes that would
sound funny had the phone been tapped, I wondered why I let so much time go by
since I’d last given her a call.
We
can be great friends to each other, despite the distance, if we choose to make
the effort. If we remember to make the time, we can have those types of
meaningful, fulfilling conversations that make us feel seen, understood,
appreciated, and supported. Not everyone has to be a close friend, but it’s
integral to our happiness that we show people who we truly are, allow ourselves
to know them in return, and then remind each other through actions small or large…that
we care.
We
never need to be or feel alone in this world, but it’s up to us to create and
allow opportunities to be together, enjoy each other, and be there for each
other. It’s up to us to make our relationships priorities. Then I started to
think about all the times when I’ve gotten busy and lost touch with friends who
live right down the street—times when I got caught up in everything going on in
my life and forgot to nurture my relationships.
But can
a relationship like this ever be forced????
Someone wants to be your friend. You accept
it. You both shares a lot of stuff, in fact, the person takes a lot of help
from you. You spend your time, to help him out, guide him where he's weak. He
learns a lot. Time passes, and supposedly, the bond gets stronger. Soon, your
paths separate. You go somewhere else, while the person goes to some other
place. After some early talks, and stuff, he finally stops contacting you. In
fact, that person starts ignoring you. You wonder and wonder, and finally
realize the bitter truth. It was never a friendship. It was simply a one sided
relationship. The person, who befriended you, was simply there, to gain
benefits. He learned a lot from you, but the friendship is never about being an
opportunist. It is about mutual understanding, it's about friendship
itself.
Such fake friends are like parasites. They take benefits from you, and in the end damage you. Such relationships are hollow. They might look 'solid' but that's just an illusion. To make a bond, mutual understanding is required. There's something called 'connection' that develops between friends as the time passes. You start feeling what the other one is feeling. It might sound foolish and quite baseless, but believe me, you can only feel it. You start knowing what the other person is thinking. Sometimes you find a great friend, simply by luck. Fate interfare, and you end up getting a wonderful friend.
But
what about testing a friend? Is it required? Well, a real friend will always be
with you. Let it be a thunderstorm, or a calm blue sky, that friend will always
be there. A real friend stays while the 'fake' friends leave when you are in
trouble. They never cared about you, all they ever cared about were their own
'benefits' and how to get them from you.
But beware, as we
seen in chemistry that too much acid tests anywhere would damage the subject.
Same happens in a relationship. If you test it again and again, it would start
getting weaker, and there would come a time when it would become hollow, and
break, just like a dry twig.
Remember, true friends are harder to find. If you do find them, take care of them. Because, when millions are against you, your true friend will be with you, side by side, ready to protect you.
